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For some time, I have been writing devotionals that have been the result of quiet time study growing out of my wife Cindy’s death.
Although her death occurred in 2003, these daily journals reflect a decades-long effort to make sense of daily loss and unfulfilled expectations–both hers and mine–as she encountered the ravages of illness. As we grew in intimacy with God and with one another, we found ourselves profoundly questioning a God who can do anything but did not do the one thing we most often asked. Mysteriously, we came to know Him as a God who has all power yet chose to withhold the application of it for which we most yearned.
How could a loving God who promised to never leave or forsake us appear to have done just that? What was He thinking, this God of lavish love who promised to replace mourning with joy and ashes with beauty? What went through His eternal mind as He watched my wife’s vibrancy and once-engaging personality gradually become dull and wasted? This God who gave up all He had in search of a bride for His own wedding banquet seemed not to care that I had a bride who could neither sit at a table nor swallow the good things set before her.
The paradox of such horrific personal suffering juxtaposed against the backdrop of a glad bridegroom God became simply unbearable at times. Yet I had walked with Him long enough to know that if there was lack of understanding, the problem was mine, not His. He is, after all, a God who has moved heaven and earth to become known by His children. He invites us to plumb the depths of His personality and emotion, thereby not only learning more about what motivates Him, but growing more intimate with Him in the process.
So I began writing, reflecting what God was teaching me of Him, and of my own heart. These devotionals have been compiled into a 768-page book I have titled “A Journey – Life In Real Time,” because I believe it best describes the essence of this collective work. Now available through direct purchase only, it is my prayer that, “”A Journey – Life In Real Time” will become a treasured personal traveling companion as you make your way through the journey of a lifetime.
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